Artie’s Wedding

by JOEL.
This story takes place between Concession #373 and #374 – after the comic ends, but before the preview of the future.

I must admit I have never snuck into a wedding before. Frat house parties, sure. No challenge there. Secret business meetings, yes, on rare occasions. Shitty music at those things. Once, I snuck into a bar mitzvah, which was shockingly difficult.

The main difference is that in almost all cases of me sneaking into a group setting, I am a relative unknown. Artie’s wedding, however, was different – these were my friends. They could practically recognize me by smell; and Artie was on the look out for me.

It was cute, in a way. Artie literally gave the ushers photos of me to make sure they didn’t accidentally let me in. Of course, Rick was one of the ushers, so one has to question the breadth of Artie’s planning. Still, Rick or not, I couldn’t just walk in, so I decided to go with a disguise.

It is important to note, at this point, that I had decided to do this alone. Matt was not invited, and although he was actually quite hurt by it, I caught him on the telephone with Artie and he seemed to understand. You can’t invite the… I guess I’ll use the phrase “domestic partner”… of someone who you’ve banned from your wedding.

Getting a disguise for Matt would not have been difficult; he and I had gone out in disguise before, and I’m quite good at it now. However, I have only had him with me in situations where the goal was mere fun and tomfoolery. This situation required a lot more care – Matt, despite his best intentions, was certainly not the best actor, and secrets will slip with someone like him. Ergo, this was to be a solo mission.

You all may know my Julia disguise already. It is essentially a female persona I put on, to make sure my disguise is as visually far away from my original look as I can get while still looking realistic and natural (which prevents most false species changes). Superficially, it is a simple costume – hair extensions, dyed-white fur, glasses or colored contacts, and a good female outfit. In practice, of course, this is quite a time-consuming affair to produce effectively.

Fur dying technology is a lot more advanced in this canon than it is in your human canon. The chemicals exist to dye black fur a perfect and realistic white without bleaching it, and it lasts quite a while until you wash it out with the solvent. The problem is, as you are no doubt aware, I am covered head-to-tail in black fur, so getting every patch of fur takes possibly an entire day of work if I don’t really rush it. It helps me to get in character to dye every inch of my fur, so even the parts most people never see get turned a nice bright white.

Hair extensions, though a lot simpler in design, are hard to do by yourself. Commonly I would have Matt do this for me – before that, I would ask my mother if I was really in a bind. Christ, she really adored the excuse to call me “Julia”, and would always be disappointed when I finally looked like my normal self.

The friendship between Zoë and I is rocky at best. It is certainly a moody relationship. He’s a combative person, and this used to amuse me, but moving in with Matt has really mellowed me out in a lot of ways, and getting caught cheating on Matt with Zoë years ago made me associate quite a sour taste with the bilby. At the time of this wedding, we were on good terms, but it still gave me pause to conciser asking a favor of him. It occurred to me, eventually, that having him as another “in” for the wedding would be of benefit, so I bit the bullet and spent the afternoon at his house, letting him apply the plugs to the fur of my head, talking endlessly about the inane as he is prone, swears mixed with his words like exotic punctuation. Foul mouthed or not, he did a good job, as it’s something he has plenty of experience in, as I had learned long ago.

The outfit was the easy part. This was a wedding, so a suit – which is the preferred look for Julia chase – fit in quite well. Wearing a suit allows for slight foam padding to be worn around the hips to give the illusion of a womanly frame. The breasts are easy, and I must again thank Zoë for this. There exists a small company in Florida that custom makes breast simulacrum for furries, and are able to match your fur color. They attach using very thin wire and some sort of weak adhesive so that, even when you’re naked, the breasts appear natural, and some light groping seems convincing at first.

Zoë, Matt, and my mother were the only people to know I was in disguise as I left the house, and my mother only caught me because she was up extra early for some ungodly reason. She sure was excited to see Julia again and asked her to come over more often.

I had to leave Matt in the dark about this, partially. All he knew was that I was in disguise for a secret mission – and, he had me promise, the secret mission was not getting laid (although I would not have complained if that’s how this wedding crash ended) – and he didn’t seem to make the connection between this and the date of Artie’s wedding.

I’m not really sure why Artie invited Zoë, as, to my knowledge, they hadn’t ever really hung out. He had hung out with Clive a lot at work, so his invitation made sense, and Clarissa wasn’t invited, so he wasn’t just inviting everyone he knew. Whatever the reason, it helped me essentially walk in. Rick seemed dubious that my name was on the invitation list – he had heard the name “Julia Chase” before, but I’ve kept him in the dark about her exact identity and connection to me. Zoë covered for me, though, with a sort of, “nah, I totally know her,” thing. Say what you will about Zoë’s social tact and grace, but he was 100% in character when it came to treating me like non-Joel, acting like an old friend as he brought me into the wedding before letting me go to my own devices.

A week of planning and preparation, lots of sneaking around, and maybe a girlish giggle or two (I really get into character), and I was in. I had crashed Artimus Crowley’s wedding. Surrounding me were his friends and extended family – damn, he’s got a huge family – and the shockingly ordinary, white-wedding decorations. There was food and some alcohol. Light music was playing.

What a bore. Why had I wanted this so badly?

For the first time in a long time, I felt genuinely foolish, standing in my ex-friend’s wedding in those black heels, fur dyed and shaved to look neater, panties riding up. What had I expected to find or accomplish? Maybe Matt’s slow encouragement and brainwashing had actually worked – maybe spite was not the thrill it once was.

I got myself a drink and looked around the room. From what I recalled, Millicent had been part of the Church of Lilith when I knew her years ago. Artie had been atheist when I met him, but his time spent with Melusine had apparently made him some sort of obscure spiritual religion from what I heard. So, I’m not quite sure what their collective religion was at this time. This certainly wasn’t a church or temple of any sort, I knew that much. They had apparently rented out some sort of indoor park somewhere down town on the floor of some office building. Wanted to get married while standing on grass, I guess. Damn hippies.

The endless rambling I was treated to as Zoë helped me with my hair did serve as a sort of debriefing for the wedding when I could be bothered to listen. This was to be a more casual wedding, with a sort of pre-game party in the main area before the big event, at which point everyone would stand around as Millicent and Artie bragged about how in love they were. All things considered, I approved of this method. It’s a much more laid-back affair, and you could be at least partially buzzed before the proper wedding began. At least, you could if you were invited.

Well, I was there, and I could tell by the laughable splash of alcohol in my drink that I was not getting drunk any time soon, so I figured it was best to mingle, put my acting skills to the test once more and introduce some of Artie’s family to Julia Chase.

I did not have the pleasure of meeting Artie’s parents, who had been dead for quite some time now. Artie’s grandmother, with whom he had lived when we were friends, was very much “up there” in terms of years, and it seemed her mind had started to slip lately, so I felt it behooved me not to meet the woman. Besides, I felt like any conversation I had with a guest, disingenuous by virtue of my disguise and presence, stood only as an insult and affront to everyone’s honor, and apathetic as I may have been to most people’s honor, the old woman was talking about her days of sleeping with rock stars in her youth, so she certainly had a lot going for her in my favor.

Eventually I found one of Artie’s cousins who I had met briefly years before, obviously not in disguise. He was already drunk off the meager offerings from the wedding’s open bar, which was either a testament to his dedication or a sign of a weak constitution. Either way, he served as an amusing distraction, and was about to regale some sort of inclination towards his cousin’s squirrel fiance before he suddenly took a fright, staring behind me. Frowning, I turned around and found myself looking straight into the eyes of Artie.

The white mouse stood before me. Christ. Did he know who I really was? What had tipped him off? He stood before me in his white suit and pink tie, hair tied loosely back behind his head. Adorning his chin was the tamed scruff of a white beard, and his eyes casually gazed over ornate glasses. God, he looked damn hot today.

His mouth was curled into a slight smile. I could not decipher how earnest it was. “Julia, was it?” His hand extended, and I shook it, keeping my grip gentle. “I don’t believe we’ve met.”

I smiled – a purposefully fake smile, trying to look like I was acting insulted. Playful. “Clearly you don’t remember joining Millicent on that company trip. To Miami? I met you two in the hotel.”

“Ah, yes, right…” Artie adjusted his tie as he pretended to remember me. “Well, it’s good to see you again. I’m sorry we haven’t spoken for so long.”

“Oh, hon, don’t worry about it.” I wagged my tail a little. “Milli’s kept me updated on you two.”

Artie put his hands in his pockets and adjusted his weight a little, very briefly looking down. Thinking? He looked up and, with the hint of a mysterious smile, asked, “How’s Jamie?”

Jamie? Who the fuck is that? “He’s great! He just started Middle School.” The lie just sort of slithered out. “It’s hard for him, but he’ll be all right.”

Artie nodded slowly. Did he buy the lie that he himself brought up? “That’s good. He was such a lil’ guy when I saw him last. You don’t have a picture with you, do you?”

What the hell was he doing? “I don’t, actually. I just got a new phone, so I don’t have any pictures with me.”

Artie nodded again, a sort of half-nod. “That’s a shame.” He raised a hand to brush from his face a few stray strands of his long white hair. “Well, I won’t keep you. I have this wedding to get to.”

I shook his hand again. “Congratulations, by the way. It was good to see you again.”

He nodded and turned around, but over his shoulder he said to me, “Say hello to Lorelei for me.”

It took every ounce of energy I had not to portray the level of shock that overtook me. He knew exactly who I was the whole time. Who told him? Did he figure it out on his own? Was my disguise that easy to unveil?

The sound of feedback resounded over speakers set up around the room, followed by the warbling sound of a pipe organ. The ceremony was set to start, and the ushers split the crowd in half to make an aisle down the middle of the grassy room. Artie, looking certainly calmer than I would expect someone about to get married to look, stood in front of the wooden altar. Father Tim, the raccoon starting to show the subtle signs of an aging fur, stood behind the mouse.

I won’t bore you with the details of the ceremony, because I certainly was not interested. I will bore you with the details of Millicent’s dress, though. She kept in great shape those days, and the thin white lace clung very dearly to her every curve. I guess those two weren’t into veils, so her head went bare, her long blond hair – slightly curled at the end, maybe done just for this occasion – left to fall upon her shoulders, which were left exposed by her dress. Her bare paws played delicately across the grass as she pulled the… what’s the tail of a wedding dress called? That long thing that drags against the ground… well, she had one of those. There was a lacy garter near the base of her tail, the fur of which was extra shiny and fluffed up today. Hot.

As they were saying their sappy non-denominational vows, I slowly migrated to the far side of the crowd, far away from the site of the newly-weds and their priest. Before I knew it, Zoë was beside me. We shared a silent look and watched the ceremony come to a close.

82 Comments

  1. Aaron the Fox says:

    Man, Joel, you certainly pulled out all the stops, and for what? What was it like, being with Zoe after all that time? And Zoe, wasn’t it the least bit awkward?

    • Joel says:

      A little awkward, sure, but we got over it. We’re guys, after all, despite the outfits.

      • Malak says:

        He mean’s the sex, sir.

        OH! Say hi to Matt for me. If you guys need tip on using magic, contact me VIA my email…

  2. keith says:

    that was so awesome!

  3. keith says:

    This makes me want to have a party that would be worthy of you crashing. maybe a prize if you successfully crash without anyone knowing who you are…*devilish grin*

  4. HumanTail says:

    Yes, very good read i must say.

  5. Shaloxeroligon says:

    Well that sounds like quite a little adventure. I know I wouldn’t be gutsy enough to crash a wedding, let alone in such a well-made disguise. I have a few questions, Joel.

    First, what was the reception like afterward, if anything was of note?
    Second, did you get a chance to talk to Artie after the wedding regarding your endeavor?
    Finally, I’m very curious about Julia Chase. How did you come up with this persona for her? And, does she sort of function like an alter ego for you, or just something you do every now and then?

    • Joel says:

      I didn’t stick around for the after party. To be honest, Artie knowing who I was sort of freaked me out. I’ve never been discovered before, so I guess I got arrogant and was not prepared for it. After the service, Zoe hitched a ride with me and we got fast food. I avoided Artie as best I could.

      The name “Julia” was what my mom wanted to call me before finding out I was to be a boy, so it seemed like a fitting name. And, I don’t know, “Chase” seemed like a good actiony last name while still being believable. I started doing this sort of thing specifically to be in disguise to get information out of people, and I just figured doing it in drag would further the veil of the disguise. Grew to enjoy it quite a bit, to be honest.

  6. Nuwisha says:

    I think the voice might have been a tip to most. Frankly you be around most people long enough, an’ you bound to pick up their pitch. Don’t feel bad though mon petit ami, sounden like a woman be hard.
    Still, I’da stolen a saxaphone… or the reeds.. or spiked a drink. But that be me, and that’s that.

    • Joel says:

      You’d be surprised how far a bit of training can go, and at the time of this story I had years of on-and-off practice. No one else has caught me so far without spending a *lot* of time around me and getting me too angry to stay in character, but Artie had only heard a few words from me.

      There was all that gay psychic stuff though, so maybe he just knew.

    • An Cat Dubh says:

      Ever heard Megumi Hayashibara? She sounds entirely different as Rei Ayanami compared to Jessie in the Pokémon anime or when singing the opening theme for Nuku Nuku DASH or Alfred J. Kwak.

  7. bakanekofan says:

    Wow, Joel. That was so much more maturely handled than one might expect from the old days. You didn’t get kicked out or anything! Much less Wedding Crasher-y than I thought it would be. I’m so proud of you! You might actually be able to be part of civilized society one day! Getting a little bit sentimental here. As for questions…

    After Artie approached you, were you able to loosen up a bit? I mean, you were surrounded by friends after all. Or was it still too awkward/you didn’t want them to know who Julia was?

    Aaaand one silly question: did Matt and Lorelei torture you when you got home, Julia?

    • Joel says:

      I never loosened up, not until I got out of there, anyways. I became paranoid about it, although I don’t think anyone else found out.

      As for Matt and Lorelei… well, what do you think?

      • bakanekofan says:

        I think you recieved a, ah…. “warm” welcome when you got home that probably led to the bedroom. Pity that you got all dressed up and you weren’t even able to enjoy yourself at the main event. Hopefully Artie doesn’t tell anyone Julia’s identity. I’d like to see more of her!

  8. Kitt says:

    I think it was particularly easy for him to single you out. Artie is the type of person who can scan a crowd and find Waldo in a snap. That and he was probably fully expecting you to come. He probably looked at his list just to figure out which person was you. Your plan wasn’t that properly executed to be honest. The disguise, maybe, but it was inevitable that Artie was going to figure out who you were no matter what.

  9. Time Travellin' Jim says:

    Why was Father Tim standing behind Artie: was he Artie’s best man or was he conducting the wedding?

    It probably didn’t help your mission that the person whose wedding you’re sneaking into has psychic powers. Would Artie be able to use those powers to locate someone he is spiritually familiar with?

    And I’m surprised the party was as boring as it sounds with Rick, Zoe, and you there!

    • Joel says:

      I have no idea how good Artie was with psychic shit at that time. Life-and-times are easy to keep track of, covert psychic training isn’t.

      Anyways, yeah, Tim was conducting the wedding. He was the pastor or whatever.

      • Time Travellin' Jim says:

        Covert psychic training? Doesn’t he teach that stuff at a college/university, which would imply he does research in that field?

        And was Kelly at the wedding? I thought she and Artie were good friends.

        • Joel says:

          I… I guess it would.

          And Kelly was there. I guess I forgot to mention her. I couldn’t talk to her because, as a woman who actually uses her brain as opposed to the rest of those zombie-like idiots, she probably would have figured out to whom she was talking. Now, granted, in the old days, she would have got a kick out of seeing me dressed up like that, but she’s a politician now, so she tends to hold herself back.

          • Time Travellin' Jim says:

            Do you know if Millicent invited Julian to the wedding? I don’t think it would be too out of place for one’s boss to show up at a person’s wedding and it appeared that Julian and Millicent had a good relationship.

  10. jollyrancher says:

    joel you never seem to stop astonishing me. although the fact that artie knew was quite interesting it makes me wonder if he will confront you about it at a later time maybe? hmm something to ponder and i wish yo had taken matt with you he is such a cutie but you are my favorite

  11. Sable says:

    Did you eventually get around to telling Matt what you were up to after the fact? On the one hand, nobody likes being lied to, and Matt especially. And given that you published this here, it’s bound to get to him eventually :P On the other hand, Matt is…well, Matt. I could see him getting equally angry either way, if for no other reason than he missed Artie’s wedding ‘because of’ you, and yet, you managed to attend anyway.

  12. Zeros-Reaper says:

    Damn Joel, who knew Artie would have found out? I thought he may have tried to toss you out. Hmmm. You don’t think Zoe outed you hm? Don’t see why he would but anywho, if you and that mouse boy ever speak again tell him congratulations.

  13. Hawk says:

    It’s nice to know funding for future technology will go towards fur-dying formulas and not … y’know … cancer vaccines …

    I tease you, though. At least you didn’t get thrown out?

  14. Bob says:

    Joel, why don’t you just ask how Artie knew? I mean, wouldn’t it be the simplest method? Come to think of it, although this is completely irrelevant, I can’t decide whether you’re hotter as Joel or Julia.
    Maybe he saw you and thought ‘damn’ then realised there was only person who could be that hot.
    Why do you think he responded so calmy to your showing up?
    Do you think Matt was also there in disguise?
    Did anyone else figure out that you were you?
    Do you know why I’m asking so many questions?

  15. Mephitus says:

    Sucks you didn’t have a camera phone, I would have loved to have seen pics of this, esp the way you described Millicent. She’s hot in a business suit, I can only imagine how she looked in that dress…

    Oh, btw, interesting that you claim Matt “brainwashed” you. I’d say its moreso that you finally found something to truly care about in your life (tho I know I’m not going to get you to admit that).

  16. PokeartKid says:

    Huh; i was wonderiny how fake breasts work…

  17. Another Matt says:

    Ooooh I do love your mind so very much, Joel. But this does make me wonder, if Artie hadn’t figured you out, what would you have done? Just went in, watched an left? I highly doubt that was all you had in mind!
    I mean, all that Artie has done to you, you could’ve at least PANTSED him!!!!!!!!

  18. keith says:

    Now I want to do something like disguise. hmm, I should see if my theater friend can do me a favor. hehehe…

  19. Tailsrules says:

    Sounds like it was a fun time. You mentioned there were other times where you and Matt done some sneaking around in disguise. What were some of the more funny times that you did that?

  20. Sci Cheetah says:

    Did you ever meet up with Artie at any point after the wedding? Days? Weeks? Months later?

  21. Melody's Muse says:

    hey Joel, if you were actually invited to a wedding would you show up? I might invite you to mine (when my partner and I can legaly get hitched that is) just to see if you’d RSVP or not lol :)

  22. Leafy Greens says:

    hm… i have to wonder: did artie let you stay because he was testing you the whole time? i mean, he left RICK as a guard! what if he wanted you to come, but was afraid to ask, due to the conflict. honestly, i think that he wanted you there. if he REALLY wanted you to not be there, he would’ve not told you when it was at all, right? by telling you that you weren’t invited, he pretty much ensured that you’d come. reverse psychology and all.

    in short: i think that artie might be more willing to mend your friendship than you think.

  23. Lord Blake says:

    Now, what i’m questioning is… How’d your alias’s name, that people had only seen like, 4 times make it onto the guest list?

  24. Chaosic Sandwich says:

    Was your brother invited to the party too? And what did you tell Matt, when you got back home?

  25. Solario the Visored says:

    Heh, poor Joel. You used to be so cruel and crazy. Now you don’t even know what to do at some guy’s wedding besides hang out. I guess that’s what you get in return for changing Matt’s innocent ways, huh?

    The angel has become a devil, and the devil has become a mere man.

  26. Snowy Snowpaw says:

    All i can say is I’m surprised that Artie let you stay after finding out, or already knowing, you were going to be there. I am happy he did though. ON another note, I’m curious, was there a reception afterwards?

    • Joel says:

      The reception was sort of before and after the wedding, that’s why people were mingling about and drinking before the wedding even began. I quickly left after the ceremony, so I don’t know what happened after.

  27. Askir Arloog says:

    From what I can tell, Artie probably knew you were gonna crash his wedding anyway. Hell, he might’ve even intentionally provided the means to do so by having Rick as an usher; so you could sneak in, no matter your guise. Or it could’ve been all that psychic nonsense, too. Though, if it was the psychic powers, wouldn’t you be able to tell if he was using them, even slightly?

    Also, I’m amazed at how cool things are between you and Artie, all things considering. It’s like a friendly rivalry between you guys, or so it appears. If there is any tension/full-blown hatred, you guys do an awfully good job hiding it.

  28. Twi-Foxy says:

    That was amazingly well told. I used to love the times when you dressed up in the comic I could practicably see exactly what you looked like, but not so much everything else. Maybe next time try to talk about your surroundings a bit more.

  29. The_Dark_Defender says:

    Joel, before I get into any actual questions about your adventure into Artie’s wedding, Id like to say that despite how corrupt you were, since reading Concession, you had been my fave. character. Im not a fanboy like ‘OMG ITS JOEL RAEP HIM!’, but I really do like your personality. After you would be Matt, then Roland.

    NOW FOR THE QUESTIONS :D
    1) I’m not sure how well you know Artie’s friends and Millicent’s family, but how hard was it not to be recognized? Surely with all the sneaking you did, someone would have noticed suspicious activity, right?
    2) If you were going to crash a wedding, why dress up? the purpose of wedding crashing is to make things go bad, not sneak arround with your furry self.
    3) why are you so damn amazing?

    • Joel says:

      I wasn’t really sneaking around, though. not in the wedding. I blended in and tried to act like a casual acquaintance who was marginally interested in the proceedings at hand.

      The usual purpose of crashing a wedding or party is merely to get in when not invited. You’re not supposed to ruin it for anyone else.

      • The_Dark_Defender says:

        It isent? I wonder why everyone was so mad when my Uncle Eddie came into the wedding of my aunt… Oh well, you learn somthing new every day :) Have a good life, Joel, or at least make the most out of it :)

  30. Tech says:

    I agree with askir.
    Oh and keep up the good work.

  31. Scars says:

    Joel, you don’t even surprise me anymore with the stuff like this you do. But I think deep down Artie was glad that you came.

    You plan on giving us more updates sometime about what’s going on? Would love to hear how stuff with you and Matt is going.

  32. Juneau says:

    I’m going to assume that during your escapade that you hadn’t taken into account that Artie had psychic powers? Although I couldn’t blame you if it was just underestimation. After all the old saying goes, “Those who can, do. Those who can’t, teach.”

    The really surprising part was that Artie didn’t call the guards (if you can call Rick one) to throw you out. I’m agreeing with Scars, I think he wanted you to come, if for no other reason than to see if you could. I wonder if Father McNeil knew too…

    Oh, by the way, since you kinda told him you were going to do it, I’m pretty sure he was expecting it to happen anyway. Tsk, tsk, Mr. Cally, I expected better of you.

  33. Chirosk says:

    So Joel, did you and arti ever discuss this at anytime later? Or was the incident just forgotten?

  34. claw moonbeam says:

    man joel i wonder what took you so long to get into white fur really its great being a white wolf, shame about the fake breasts though without them you’d look kinda like me.

  35. NFG says:

    You’re like the Tetsuo to his Kaneda, I swear.

  36. Kuso Karae says:

    Y’know, I’m startin to think you’re a whipped lil pup. You had to AT LEAST have spiked a couple of drinks. We all know how you operate; it’s just out of character for you to not cause at least a little bit of trouble. Maybe a drug or two here, a trip or grope there; maybe a bit of “slip-of-the-tongue” unpleasantries to the man who is already quite flustered. You spiked Clive’s martini, didn’t you? When the hipster goes away, the manhunter comes to play, hehehe.

  37. Wolfiy Dire-wolf says:

    Heh heh…I’d think Artie was considering blowing your cover, Joel, but he probabley didnt want to spoil your fun, you have both changed over the years, plus i think he understood that you were no longer likely to begin making a ruckus.

  38. An Cat Dubh says:

    I don’t get why you had to dress up as Julia Chase. You’ve used that alter ego several times, someone’s bound to recognise it. But anyway, it’s fairly obvious Artie was just challenging you.
    Also, I think I missed that, but who was it who handled your hair, Matt or Zoë?
    And why would Matt think you would go get laid? Are you still being unfaithful to him?

  39. tickles fluffybutt says:

    i miss concession :(

    i miss matt and i miss joel :’(

    i’ve tried to pretty much base my life on a mixture of joels and matts, with a bit of zoe thrown in.

    thank you for everything guys <3 ill miss you.

    • tickles fluffybutt says:

      oh and just to get a reply from one of you would make my life complete :)

  40. shadow the void fox says:

    all that just to crash the wedding of your ex-friend i must say im impressed and he figured out it was you even when you were julia chase i think i might know how he figured out it was you well i think i maybe know there 2 possible ways he might have figured out it was you

  41. Cobalt says:

    Heh, maybe it was the fact that you both still have the connection to the spirits, he felt it happen, who knows, maybe he persuaded you to do something to get in? Either way, I’m glad he wen the way of John F. Kennedy: Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. What you think Joel?

  42. Bob says:

    Huh, I’ve been intending to trick my friend into thinking I was a girl for a day and I only just realised that you inspired me Joel, congratulations, but I’m sure you didn’t intend to trick Artie into dating you…or did you? I’m at a really weird place in my life. Eh, woulda been funny once he found out, my friend, I mean, shall be funny. So, the big question, after Artie’s ‘relationship’, was Chelsie there?

  43. Kerry says:

    Hey there, Joel! Or should I say Alexander? Anyway, I hope that you at least had a good time at the wedding, even though you were slightly paranoid from Artimus.
    What were the appetizers, and were they any good?
    Did you have any of the cake? How was it decorated?
    Did you speak with Millicent before the ceremony began, or some time afterward?

  44. Bob says:

    Joely! Why aren’t you replying!? Please speak to me, I love you! Please don’t tell anyone I said that, ehehe…

  45. 40static says:

    Gotta say, your pretty damn good at writing Joel.

  46. SilverSheilds says:

    Hey Artie,
    How did you and Millicent end up together anyways?

  47. Johnson says:

    Are we to expect any more updates? It’s been quite a while since the last.

  48. Dani says:

    While i was reading this I started to think about you and Matt and was hoping that you could tell us when you are going to ask Matt to marry you.

  49. trey says:

    i just wish the comic hadent ended like you joel i am a satanist and i really would like to discuss writing storyline if you ever decide to re open the comic i know its a lot of work but i can help with that look how many people like concession on facebook your comic inspired me and friends of mine to study and really become kind of like the charectors we live sorta like them as close as you can get being human and all that im the real life version of you joel i literally felt emotion for the first time in a long time when the comic ended

  50. MooKowRox says:

    Are you sure an evident boner didn’t give you away?

    I mean you said he looked down briefly and you did say he was hot that day, so who knows >.>……

  51. Connor The Fox says:

    Hey Joel nice to hear from you. I am quite suprised you didnt kill anyone, any way hows is Matt doing now like present time? I have to say I miss you guys. Maybe you should do a blog together you and Matt?

  52. Hunter says:

    I’ve been curious besides halo (as you reveled in the web comic) what kind of videogames do you like?

  53. Hunter says:

    Joel, can you still change into that reaper thing or was that just your sister?(I always forget her name)

  54. Hunter says:

    I would like to mention that what you did in comic #374 to fight the preist guy is almost a complete rip-off of the Marvel super villian Venom. If you dont believe me google him.

  55. Fang says:

    Yeah, Joel. Quick question, what exactly is your sister doing these days? Haven’t seen much of her these days, and I’m curious. I thought she was sexy as hell, even when she was all wolf like and ready to rip Artie’s head off. As for Julia, who was the other girl at the end of the Comic? Melissa Chase? I’m thinking it’s Julian? Or is it you deciding to forgo the fur dye?

  56. Selena says:

    Oh Artie… His sexiness never ceases to amaze me… Any-prostitute, I love how you got caught. Something tells me your “Spiritual Pressure” was showing. Question though. I know you have the upper body covered, but does Julia have lady parts?! Questions been burning a hole in my soul… or is that Miranda…

  57. Nickolai says:

    Joel did you not want to crash it or where you distracted by Artie sexiness?

  58. I fully admire your determination and the level of effort you put into your disguise, Joel. Makes me wonder if you took acting lessons as a child, or if you’re just naturally great at it. Either way, bravo; here’s your Oscar. *hands you an Oscar*

    One thing I’d go with next time you try a Julia Chase disguise, or even another one if you feel it necessary to expand your repertoire, is using something to cover your natural musk and bodily scent. Not just with a perfume or a deoderant; that’ll be noticed, even if by fewer people, especially if they use the same brands so they can easily register the secondary scent behind it. I figure taking samples of different women’s scents, (through whatever means/forms necessary) and using it to create a unique feminine musk that no one will recognise and somehow using it to cover your own (bathing in it or something; I can’t think of everything.) Probably be difficult to make sure you get the scent right each time, but if you’re willing to dye your fur white in every single place, maybe add it into the dye as you’re applying it?

    Anyhoo, the next time you decide to trick those less intelligent than yourself, good luck, and keep up the award-worthy performances!

  59. Fedack says:

    The arctic fox grinned and nodded.
    “What happened with you Joel? I mean, knowing you, you would have found a way to ruin that party in a secret and evil way. I think Matt has tamed you.”
    The fox chuckled and went to pat on your shoulder.
    “It’s ok, but don’t let him ruin who you are, because you are the most amusing pup i have found around, and i am not saying that because i can easily identify myself to you.”
    The fox then blinked and raised his paw to hold his own chin a moment.
    “I think you couldn’t hide from artie, like he couldn’t hide from you. You two, that you wan’t it or not, share a spiritual bound and that you could be hiding under a feral costume, he would know it’s you because you are like a big stain in the network. I don’t think you turned an angel even with Matt around. Your presence is still there and strong.”
    He nodded and shrugged, his eyes placing themselves in yours.
    “At any rate, this is my opinion, oh and i am Fedack, been watching you from afar from a long time.”
    He smiled and leaned his paw over for a handshake.

  60. JD says:

    Hey Joel,
    It was probably either “Jamie” or “that trip to Miami” that gave you away, when going undercover, you should name a place you are certain he’s been, and, if he mentions a name, you should “correct” him.

  61. ZeldaTheSwordsman says:

    You know, Joel, you kinda tipped your hand by telling him you were gonna crash the wedding.